


Bitch Lasagna.

by livixbobbiex



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Crack, M/M, Memes, PWP, Tiger king
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:21:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27728705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livixbobbiex/pseuds/livixbobbiex
Summary: Karma and Nagisa sometimes have some background music on when they get hot and heavy.What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Shiota Nagisa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	1. Bitch Lasanga

**Author's Note:**

> i finally uploaded it

Nagisa and Karma are going at it. Like they always do, because they’re young and in love and still full of hormones even years deep into their relationship. Everything’s going smooth, because they know each others bodies well enough by this point. It’s a pretty vanilla day compared to usual, Karma’s happily grinding his hips into an equally happy Nagisa, light background music playing out in the background. And then suddenly-

“ _I don’t like you T series, nothing personal kid_ -“

Nagisa detaches his lips. “What.”

Stopping in his movement, Karma blinks, listening out for the lyrics. “Oh, I guess I saved it to the wrong playlist.”

Ah, the playlist. A staple of many couples. They’re very compatible sexually, of course they are, but even Karma and Nagisa have not been spared from the sex playlist. Sometimes it can still be a little awkward, since they’ve evolved from constant passion to comfortable, and a bit of background noise makes them both feel just that little bit less self conscious. They both have access to the playlist, and rarely change it. It’s just fine, literally just for a bit of background, nothing too fast paced.

Karma keeps going, though, making no effort to turn off the offending track. But, now Nagisa’s noticed it, he can’t help but pay more attention to _that_ (sorry Karma). He can’t exactly turn it off, he’s kind of pinned. His brain unfortunately goes into educational mode, trying to decipher the weird English rap, which is kind of hard with Karma pounding into him.

“ _Bitch Lasagne Bitch Lasagne, T Series ain’t nothing but a Bitch Lasagne_.”

Curiosity gets the better of him. “What’s T Series?”

“It’s,” _thrust_ , “an Indian,” _thrust_ , “media company,” _thrust_ , “Pewdiepie is kinda,” _thrust_ , “having a con-” _thrust_ , “-test with,” _thrust_ , “to see,” _thrust_ , “who gets the,” _thrust_ , “most subscribers,” _thrust_ , “on youtube,” _thrust,_ “and he” _thrust_ , “made a,” _thrust_ , “ _mn fuck_ , disstrack.”

“You still, _ah_ ,” Nagisa tries to make sense of this, “watch Pewdiepie?”

“Sometimes…” Karma pauses his motion.

“You were so busy with work last week you didn’t want to get dinner but you have time to watch P _ewdiepie_?”

He looks down at him. “You want to have this argument _now_?”

Ideally, no. Nagisa does not want to have an argument with Karma whilst he’s still in his ass. Well, the song has a decent beat at least. Despite everything, it was actually starting to feel kind of good, right then. Karma’s saved from the fight by how close Nagisa is, then, luckily enough for him.

“Go,” he nudges him with his thigh like he’s commanding a horse to start trotting.

After they’re finished, they turn off the music, and can’t look each other in the eye for the next hour or so. Karma never watches Pewdiepie again, he can’t, stuck eternally with a weird boner trigger.


	2. Carole Baskin

Nagisa wasn’t an unreasonable boyfriend.

He let Karma come over to his apartment whenever he felt like it. Karma’s apartment was bigger, and nicer, yet he seemed to always end up at Nagisa’s place after work. Not that Nagisa had a problem with that, he liked the company. And, sometimes, company would turn into… _company_. Like right then.

Ever since the _incident_ that should not be named, the playlist had been retired. And you know what? Having sex in silence wasn’t _so_ bad. Sex was for moans and heavy breaths, not diss tracks by Swedish Youtubers. Real life wasn’t like a porno, the lack of distraction audio meant that he could actually hear that kind of stuff, and that was a good thing. In short, Nagisa had banned music during sex.

This time wasn’t exactly _intentional_. Really, Karma had just connected his phone to the blutooth speakers to show Nagisa a song, and they hadn’t bothered to turn it off. It wasn’t _his_ fault that they’d started making out, and then the clothes had come off. Nagisa was _hardly_ to blame for ending up in Karma’s lap on the sofa, and it was _nothing_ to do with him that Karma had also ended up balls deep inside his ass. Nagisa was distracted, though, so he didn’t notice the music that was still playing.

At least not until-

“Screw that bitch Carole Baskin!”

Admittedly, it was a little jarring. Nagisa didn’t really mean to shift his focus, but it was different to the kind of music Karma usually listened to, a genre shift from whatever had been playing in the background beforehand.

He kept going, though, shifting up and down on his knees-

‘ _CAROLE BASKIN_

_KILLED HER HUSBAND_

_WHACKED HIM’_

Nagisa had to stop. “Wha-“

‘ _CAN’T CONVINCE ME THAT IT DIDN’T HAPPEN_

_FED HIM TO TIGERS THEY SNACKIN’_

_WHATS HAPPENING’_

Karma looked at him, sweat covering his forehead. “Why did you stop?”

He felt weird, though. “Who’s Carole Baskin?”

Finally Karma’s ears seemed to have kicked into gear. “Oh, that- wait, how don’t you know who Carole Baskin is?”

Nagisa was a homosexual man, and honestly the constant mention of a woman named Carole was causing him to go soft.

“Should I?”

Karma gripped his ass tighter, though, grinding his hips unfazed. “She killed her husband.”

“Huh?!”

“Fed him to some tigers-“

Nagisa planted his hands on Karma’s shoulders. “Like the song?”

“You _have_ my Netflix password. You should know this. She- she covered him in _fish oil_.”

What Nagisa didn’t expect, though, was for Karma to pull out entirely, practically pushing Nagisa off him in favour of reaching for the TV remote. Then he frowned. “Your TV doesn’t even connect to the internet?”

“No?”

Karma was off, then, determined to make sure that he had whatever TV was good enough, in his mind. Something told Nagisa it wasn’t going to be a gift, either, it was going to have to come out of his own pocket. So now he was blue balled and poor.

“I’m never going to financially recover from this.”

**Author's Note:**

> *not to be taken seriously* 
> 
> My main tumblr is [Livixbobbiex](http://livixbobbiex.tumblr.com/) but my ass class blog and the one I used to discuss this fic is right [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nagisasthickthighs)
> 
> I recently changed discords so if you want to discuss my fics with me directly, please join this [this link](https://discord.gg/py42kFB) (and ignore all others)


End file.
